Curb Roast logoCurb Roast

Curb appeal, under fire

Your house called.It wants an upgrade.

Upload an exterior or room photo. Get a brutally funny roast. Then see AI makeover concepts that make the visible space look like it finally got the memo.

Start a roast How it works

First roast is free. No awkward contractor call.

Before-and-after exterior transformation of a two-story suburban home with a white modern farmhouse update, black garage door, and refreshed landscaping
House #001 Before → after concept
Roast → reveal

Three moves. Zero beige energy.

Roast. Transform. Upgrade.

01

Upload the evidence.

A clear photo of your home’s front is all it takes.

02

Get the roast.

Blunt, funny curb-appeal feedback with a point of view.

03

See the glow-up.

Explore exterior concepts built around your real home.

Before-and-after exterior transformation of a two-story brick home with sage green siding, a dark garage door, and a landscaped front path
Example 02 · More curb appeal, less builder beige
Before-and-after exterior transformation of a single-story home with charcoal-blue siding, a dark wood garage door, stone details, and illuminated front landscaping
Example 03 · A ranch house, finally dressed for dinner

The before and after

A house with good bones and a little too much 2004.

Before-and-after exterior transformation of a single-story brick ranch with a charcoal facade, warm wood entry, black garage door, and new front landscaping
Example 04 · The newest curb appeal comeback

Your exterior, reimagined

From bland to bam.

Curb Roast keeps the house recognizable while exploring exterior updates that hit different: paint, windows, doors, siding, roofing, and landscaping.

A roast with an actual point
Style directions, not a generic filter
Budget-aware makeover concepts
A clearer brief for your contractor

Real project thinking

Big curb energy, grounded in reality.

Concept 1

$15K refresh

A visual direction to help prioritize the exterior work that matters most.

Concept 2

$30K glow-up

A visual direction to help prioritize the exterior work that matters most.

Concept 3

$60K dream house

A visual direction to help prioritize the exterior work that matters most.

Build on the free result

The roast was free. The comeback gets serious.

Compare three more exterior directions and focus your next curb-appeal conversation.

Home Glow-Up Pack

More ways to picture it.

$19

  • Three additional exterior concepts
  • Practical upgrade priorities
  • Style + budget-context notes
  • Downloadable, share-ready inspiration
See everything in the pack

Visual inspiration only—not construction drawings, a site assessment, quote, permit review, or guaranteed project cost.

The deeper decision-support option

Don’t just see the dream house.
Know what to tackle first.

A phased curb-appeal roadmap for the exterior conversation you want to have next.

Dream House Roadmap

Think it through.

$49

  • Multiple exterior concepts
  • Prioritized phased action roadmap
  • Style + budget tradeoff support
  • Contractor-conversation checklist
See the full roadmap

Visual inspiration and decision support only—not drawings, bids, feasibility review, or guaranteed pricing.

Straight answers

No fine print. No fake promises.

Your turn

Let’s see what your house has been hiding.

Bring the photo. We’ll bring the roast, the vision, and the curb appeal comeback story.

Roast my house

One clear photo

Zero mystery.

The house stays recognizable. The potential gets louder.

Your first roast

On the house.

Upload it, get the read, and see what the glow-up could be.

Visual concepts are planning inspiration, not construction drawings, quotes, inspections, feasibility determinations, or guaranteed project costs.

    Curb Roast | AI House Roasts & Exterior Makeovers